time gone

        Shaylin        

So much time has gone I can't turn back the clock I think about all the things iv missed I feel so horrable and in discust in myself  I never thaught it would be like this I don't know how to change it .... I dint know how to keep going .... I'm sorry

two sad

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 
       well baby tomorrow is your 2nd birthday im sad to miss it I hope I dont miss too many im sad that I dont get to see the excitement in your eyes when you open your gifts and see u blow your candles out im curious to see how your growing and taking on more and more personality I wonder what interests you is it dolls or cars or blocks or building toys or teddy I want to know everything about you and yet im left in the dark no one even saying your name in my presence its as tho you are gone from this world with only u in my thoughts and dreams but I know your out there sometimes I just want to come knock on your door and see you but I know its not that easy its as tho your are held just out of my reach and there is nothing I can do  I Love you shaylin    Happy birthday to you sweet sorrow to me  

EVERY DAY

Shaylin  
  It has been some time since I have seen u
I'm not making excuses nor am I laying blame I think about u every day .. I wonder how big u are getting I wonder what your laugh is like  I wonder do u still have eyes like mine when I'm out and I hear alittle girl in the next isle I always wonder .. maybe its u ... I can only imagin your hugs I can only dream of your kisses there is a hole in my heart I cry for you all I can do is hope one day ... maybe you and I can reconnect and recover the damage that has been done

EVERY DAY  I think of you and no matter what .... I will always love you  



Love ....... Dad

Baby smiles are the cutest

I love making u laugh and smile it warms my heart to see you so happy    its so hard to not be with u every day and if i could have i would have changed things  but never the less i still love u and will enjoy every secound i have with you .......Daddy loves u 

Shaylin

i have had the pleasure of seeing you so much this month  u are growing and starting to teeth  you have become so vocal now and it makes me giggle every time u scream at me i cant belive you are out growing 3-6 month old clothing ..... well love u baby and will see you tomorrow

one eye open

went to see you yesterday you are changing so fast every week u seem to get alittle cubbier or strech out a little more you are now 11 lbs and a happy healthy baby ....your mom is reluctantly letting me feed you now and i know its hard for her cause that is a bonding time for both of u ....its taking me some time to learn you and what you like but as time goes on it will get easier and i will figure you out alittle more im trying baby girl ......you are a very happy baby and it breaks my heart when you scream at me .....when i burp u i musnt be doing somthing quite the way you like cause you insist on wacking me in the face over and over and over lol ......i wish i could have more time to bond with you and more time to form a stronger connection .... i love holding you and cuddling   ...... mom says put u down and talk to u while im there but i hate it i just wanna keep you close to me ...... i wanna feel your warmth i wanna feel your sighs i wanna feel our hearts beat togather ......... i was cuddling you and you were falling asleep but anytime i would stop rocking you or stop moving you would open one eye just to make sure i was still there ....has to be the cutest thing ever

Well baby you are two months old tomorrow you are changing every time i see you and its really nice to be getting to know you more and more it really seems as tho i have had some time to get to bond with you ...... i love how calm you are in my arms and how you just stare at me  ..... you are starting to giggle lots and your smiles melt me ........ wish i could spend every day with you and see your beautiful face when you wake up ...... i feel like im missing so much and every day with out seeing you is hard .......... till next time i love and miss you very much